"The game is called 'Union,' not 'Impregnation'." -- On how a human and a country can have a child.

The Game: Microscope Union.

The Players: Myself, JC, Alex, and, temporarily, Sarah (who had to disappear after the first round).

The Story: Heh, okay, buckle up folks because we are GOING PLACES with this one.

For those of you not familiar with Union, is uses the general rules of Microscope to create the family tree of a particular individual; you start by creating a character who has accomplished something Big and Important, and then, rather than actually paying attention to that character, you look back three generations, to their parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents, and explore all the different folks out there who came together to create the person who did the epic thing.

For us, we thought that said person might be notable for doing something less-than heroic, because why not? So he was a thief, who was famous for having stolen the Declaration of Independence. His name: Benedict Booth.

The next task is to come up with three traits which let that person accomplish their task, which was a turning point for this particular game, because the rules had a few suggestions, including the ability to speak to animals. And Alex joked that Booth probably had that, to calm the lions that guard the Declaration. And we had a good laugh. And then we were like, "Wait... wait... YES." And now there's magic.

So we thought speaking to animals was hella OP, so we dialled it back to just speaking to birds, and we also made Booth incredibly petty, and finally (because I wasn't sure whether traits would allow physical objects in the vein of ancestral swords and whatnot, but went with it anyway because if it doesn't I think it should), the very boat that George Washington used to cross the Delaware in that painting y'all are probably familiar with.

And then we made the palette, and things got... let's just go with epic? Here, let me read a few items from the Yes list, if you don't mind:

On the "awesome" side, we have Cowboys, Communist Paranoia, and Secret Societies. All of which exist for every generation in Booth's family tree. His great-grandfather, Ben Franklin (yeah, that Ben Franklin) met a housemade named Kansas MacGillicuddy at the stoning of a suspected communist, and when Booth stole the Declaration, it was actually after communists had taken over Washington. The other side of Booth's family tree are a great-grandfather with ties to the traitorous Order of Arnold, and a grandmother who belonged to the Native-American group Coyote's Children, both operating in secret to destroy the USA.

On the "ridiculously awesome" side, we have Legendary Artifacts and, tied to that, Patriotism-Fueled Magic. Yes. YES! People can tap into their patriotism in the same way clerics tap into faith, and use it to cast spells: when commies attacked Booth's mother, President Liberty Dare, she was saved by the timely intervention of Utah White, with a blast of magical energy that knocked that commie out for four score and seven minutes. Meanwhile, items of Americana, like George Washington's boat, or John Henry's hammer, or John Wilkes Booth's pistol, or Old Glory herself, the first American flag, are items of incredibly power and incredible value: the boat always takes its captain where they need to go, the flag cannot be destroyed for as long as America exists, and Booth's pistol never misses its target (as long as you're attacking someone from behind).

As you can tell, we were intensely patriotic, and Benedict Booth is deeply tied into the spirit of America. How deeply tied, you ask? His great-grandfather is the LITERAL spirit of America: a red, white, and blue eagle who appeared to his grandmother, Virginia Dare, the first person born in Roanoke Colony, and imbued her with its spirit, thus awakening the Manifest Destiny in her soul. Their child was Oregon Dare, who, through his unique parentage, knew the position of every single piece of legendary Americana in the country (and, incidentally, knew where the country's borders were at all times, even when they changed).

Oh, but all countries have avatar spirits, and we got to meet several: the British owl, the French dove, and the Mexican burro were all present when America built his next in the spiritual aerie, but they have nothing on the turkey which was the avatar spirit of... America, who was kicked out of his nest when the eagle arrived. While America came to the real world in order to bless the European colonists, the Turkey was summoned forth in a ritual by members of the Order of Arnold (a ritual that promised to put an end to America within four score and seven years because, incidentally, all American patriotic magic has a duration of four score and seven SOMETHINGS). That Turkey would be Booth's grandfather, on his father's side, created from the union of a magician and a Chippewa bird-talker (where "union" translated to "human sacrifice in a dark but incredibly patriotic ritual").

So, epic stuff, right? We got spirit avatars and magic and a founder and a president and I haven't even mentioned the other cornerstones of America which managed to make it into Booth's family tree: One Tooth Pete the Hobo King and Lady Cornwall Whitechapel.

But okay, all that aside, the REAL money part of this game (which is to say, the union that I want to, like, have a Kingdom in right the heck now) would be Oregon Dare and Arkansas MacGillicuddy. He's the son of America itself, she's the daughter of a time-travelling Ben Franklin, and both of them are in pursuit of artifacts of Americana (although he's collecting them for his father, she's a straight-up thief). They met simultaneously trying to steal the Liberty Bell; they managed to crack it right in half, and had a rivalry running for YEARS before he finally gave in and accepted her proposal... which is a scene that occurs after she bashes in the roof of a moving train using the strength of Martha Washington's gloves, and the two dance under the stars while a hobo plays "She's a Grand Old Flag" on his harmonica.

BECAUSE AMERICA, THAT'S WHY.

Props around the board for this one; I think I can say without risk of hyperbole that I have never laughed so hard at a game of anything than I did last night. Props to Sarah both for being a brave new-ish gamer thrown into a very strange game, and for getting us on the "steal the declaration" path. Props to JC for legendary artifacts, and sky-high props to Alex for putting the literal spirit of America into play.

Also, props to Ben, I suppose, for making a cool game; this isn't a playtest-themed recap so much as it is me going "WOOOOO" for about a thousand words, so perhaps I will come back in time with more thoughts about Union itself, but right now I'm going to go fire guns into the air wildly, BECAUSE I AM AMERICAN AND THAT IS WHAT WE DO.

Clearly *someone* didn't set off enough fireworks last week to get the 4th of July out of their system. It's now a week-long holiday!

You clever ducks are also almost foreshadowing one of my hacks of this hack. Almost. Which leads me to wonder, how many layers of hacks does it take until you loop around and recreate the original? Getting all "Tlon, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius" in here…