Date of Play: 8/23/14

Players: Sarah, Ian, Tim

Setting: A Medieval Wizardry School

Killer: A Summoning Gone Wrong

Some (Dead) Characters:

1. Agzallip, furry familiar to Jall Vae-In (the Master Teleporter). A strange being resembling a mix between a (giant) bunny and a Pikachu. His fur naturally generates massive amounts of electricity.

2. Sir Grindo, an ambitious teacher at the school. The idiot who accidentally opened a doorway to the void with his summoning circle. First to die (and least mourned of the victims).

3. Granny Dot, visiting grandmother of one of the school's students. Doesn't understand all this new-fangled magic stuff.

The Final Four (Last Three to Die and Our Lone Survivor):

4. Ingrid Starbuyer: Spoiled, Rich, Arrogant, Better than Everyone. "Friends" with Werman and Brine Coca. Bitten in half by a creature resembling the late Sir Grindo.

3. Werman: WAY too old to be in this school (somewhere in his 70's), and has been attending the school since he was in his 20's. Actually had insight in how to solve the school's void problem. Somewhat unfortunately, said insight involved sacrificing himself to complete the necessary ritual, impaling himself on a sword in the process.

2. Pookie: Washer of the wizards' robes for the school. Rather pretty, and not exactly satisfied with her lot, but a relatively nice person. See below for what happened to her.

1. Brine Coca: The young "prodigy" that cheated his way through the wizard exams (and just about everything else). Effeminate with a well-hidden inferiority complex, he is a truly awful human being (see below).

Summary of Events:

After Sir Grindo accidentally summons a tentacled void beast called a Tentie, said Tentie begins a killing rampage through the castle. But the real threat is that the door to the void remains open. More and more violently unfriendly void beings begin to flow through, and damn-near everyone in the school is dead within a few hours (a number of them, including a house elf named Snuffle Lufigus, due to the fact that Brine Coca is literally throwing them at the monsters to protect himself). The next morning, the four survivors awaken to discover that the school is floating in a pocket dimension within the void itself. Werman, who turns out to be the father of the school's headmaster (Dufus Fogstorm, supposed Harry-Potter-type savior, dead) and the grandfather of Pookie, remembers a ritual to free the school from the void. After collecting the necessary items (which are mostly body parts from the dead characters) he and Pookie begin the ritual, culminating in Werman sacrificing himself. At this point, Brine Coca emerges from the headmaster's closet where he was waiting out the storm, and Pookie and Brine appear to be saved!

As it turns out, though, it was all a test by the masters of The Void to determine who would be best to lead the humans into the next age. After great deliberation, weighing Pookie's kind heart and brave spirit against Brine Coca's cutthroat tactics and cold disregard for any life but his own, the cards decide that Brine is best fit to lead the human race! Pookie is dissolved out of existence, and a new age of horror and violence is at hand!

This was the second time I've played The Final Girl. The mechanics got a little odd at one point, when we had two characters (Pookie and Werman) attempting to kill themselves/each other to stop the killer...which altered the function of the cards in a rather illogical way. I can't really blame the rules for this, though. It is understandable to assume that a sane character (and the sane player playing them) would be trying to SURVIVE, not attempting to run themselves through with a sword.

Thanks to Sarah for facilitating and to Ian and Sarah (again) for massacring hundreds upon hundreds of innocents (and not so innocents) with me in record-setting time!